Monday, September 10, 2007

Erasing the VMAs from Memory

Last night - 9/9 at 9PM so you couldn't forget - MTV put on its annual Video Music Awards. For the first year ever, it took place in Las Vegas at The Palms (home to a great Real World season, and more recently, one of the worst revival ideas they've had bringing the same cast back to Sin City). And the only reasons I note the location are (1) Because MTV did so a couple thousand times during their pre-show: "It's so obvious," "The perfect place for the VMAs," "How amazing an idea!" (No, that was not posed as a question - it was not open to debate.) AND (2) Maybe it's the only legitimate excuse for putting on probably the worst award show production I've ever seen (and sadly enough, sat through for a few hours).

Vegas may have been a little too much of a distraction for organizers and artists because from the very start, it can only be described as a trainwreck. (And even if that's an unoriginal description, I promise you it's accurate.) I will not spend time talking about the disappointment that was Britney's performance. Watch it here - before lunch if you're smart. It really should have been show-stopping.

She was followed up by an awkward Sarah Silverman, of whom I'm a huge fan and who may have been creating this uneasiness as a genius comic device - but other than a few sweet zingers ("if Amy Winehouse isn't Jewish, someone should tell her face" and "isn't it so cute how 50 Cent is still alive") it was really an uncomfortable two minutes (feeling like 10).

Then other than a pretty ridiculous (in a good way) performance by Chris Brown, I don't really know what happened. And I didn't black out. The presenters seemed equally confused. Fergie wasn't there to receive the Best Female award and Shilostache La Buff thought Ludacris was going to come up and accept it for her - which seems insane given the category even if he was responsible for the verse that was responsible for getting anyone to fork over 99 cents for Fergalicious.

Honestly, I really don't know who won anything other than the guys with eye liner in the Friends and Enemies suite. Timbaland's really the only dude who has his shit together, so maybe he should be called The Maestro. Peep the Twittering I did last night of some of the most noteworthy occurences. And note, none of them had to do with category winners. Of course, MTV "knows" that people tune in for the celebrity drama, fashion, lifestyle. But maybe it's time to rethink that because even if setting Britney up for failure was the "buzz-building" idea all along, they may lose their audience (as well as artist support). (Though there's no substitute for hearing JT say play more damn videos while on stage with The Hills girls.)

Kanye's complaining of course that he didn't win anything or get to perform on the main stage, but he really should be happy he didn't have any part in the "main" production. The suite shows were the only source of originality and slightly interesting and lively musical excitement. Now I can focus my attention on a truely intelligent marketing scheme...Kanye vs. 50, and tomorrow's release of both their albums. A rivalry which hopefully won't get violent like this one, which I'm calling Rocklee 2.


Jake said...

I think you should have also mentioned that Timbaland is HUGE. I always thought that he was a chubby dude because of his adorable cheeks, but the guy is ripped.

El Gaffney said...

i thought i twittered, he should always wear tank tops. or maybe i just told my girlfriend. i don't know which move makes me more badass.

Leland said...

Did you see Dr Dre? The dude is seriously roiding. I think he had a vitamen S cocktail with every meal for the last 4 years.


El Gaffney said...

yes! he was more intimidating than suge knight.